Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
