At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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