my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
