So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
