just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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