I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
