I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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