There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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