Just mADE A PArabola og urine
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
