No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
