I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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