I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
