The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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