8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize