oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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