your thong is hanging out like whoa
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
