The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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