haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize