I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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