I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
