My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
