Non-Jews are for practice
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
