i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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