My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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