she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
