Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
