Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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