we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
