he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
