Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize