dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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