People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
