She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think I sprained my soul last night
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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