omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
