I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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