After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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