But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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