everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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