You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
