thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
