I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize