If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vagina is officially offended.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
