I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Found the puke drawer
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
