Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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