is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
