i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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