Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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