mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
