he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
