You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize