for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
