Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
