we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
