There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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