All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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