and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
