So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
